Wednesday 3 October 2007

The Damp Sock

This story involves four men, two women, a sock, and an event that will live in the memory for a while.
Going back a few years, a mate of mine had four aussie fellas staying with him for a weekend. With plenty of tourist options for them to do in the city, they instead piled into a plethora of pubs, oozing in the local clubs, and getting a feel for the english saturday night out. After singing their national anthem on a table and being chased out with pool cues, they went to the main city nightclub and adorned their dancing hooves. The dancefloor was on fire, and two lucky soldiers managed to pick up a member of the opposite sex. Aussies are not normally this fussy however. They all left the club at kick out time and did the ritualistic events of taxi's, kebabs and looking for places that sold more drink. In failing on option three, they headed back to the house they were staying at, as it contained some form of dodgy overseas whiskey, which tasted like a domestic cleaning product from Botswana. Anyway......everything was rosy at this stage. After spending some time in the lounge, they all decided the central heating was warmer than a camels saddle, and some people removed their shoes and socks for extra comfort. The two lone rangers went up to their room, the other 'pick up pilot' went with his good lady to his room, which left the man in question, in the lounge, with his good lady.
Needless to say, they were getting along great, she loved Neighbours and he loved Corry. Before he could say 'no', he was being plummeted into an act of fornication, after having his hands in the fishbowl, and the friction between them was not dissimilar to that which had been witnessed on the dancefloor, some 4 hours earlier. As their ravenous session came to a close, the antipodean needed somewhere to locate his ambrosia cream custard, as he was in no position to become a father. He grabbed the closest thing that looked amiable, one of his mates socks that was lying near the tv. How nice of him.
After a good nights sleep of about 3 hours, people came downstairs in dribs and drabs. The other girl from upstairs being one of them, announced that the two girls had to leave in five minutes. Some rushing around woke everyone, and they were all back in the lounge again. To cut a short story long, the aussie fella couldn't wait to see his mates face when he took his damp sock away from near the tv. However, his face went somewhat purple when he watched his 'girl' pick up the said garment, as it was hers all the time. The next 30 seconds was one of the most cringe worthy in his life as he saw the poor girls face as her hoof hit the thread. He wanted to be somewhere else. He couldn't say anything, he knew that she knew what had happened, but she remained silent, slowly wriggling her toes through what must have felt like an otters pocket.
Needless to say, after they had gone the lad told all the guys the story immediately, and it remained the laughter point of the weekend, and well beyond. Is it bad to find this amusing? I do not know.

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